annie

She stood there gazing at the moonlight shining so amazingly on the Pondicherry backwaters,
From the blanket of darkness I safely stared at one of the best moments of my life.
The pure white moonlight, the pure and beautiful backwaters, the pitched darkness of the night, the pin drop silence, I owe this to u'll
You all planned the set really so well, hats off to your co-ordination, sound effects, cinematography, colour combination, U'll were perfect that night.
I am so lucky to share such a moment with her.
One of those moments which I will stare straight at with closed eyes just before I am personally introduced to the mythical Yum Uncle whenever, wherever, however.
But I knew life can never be as beautiful as the moonlit water on either side of the road, coz I knew that she never felt for me the way i did about her, and still do.
This imbalance is the defining factor of our relationship, our best friendship, all the times spent together, all emotions spent for each other.
I could hear Uncle Conscience speak sternly... "How Long?"
She was even more lovely and stunning in Munnar,
Outside the window of the bus, the mountains, the trees, the rivers, the fog looked all decked up, trying to look as good as they could, dying to draw my attention.
"But I'd rather look at you"
Talk to you, make the most of every moment with you .
I feel a sweet pain in my heart as I converse with her, as electrified as I am, I act very normal
Yet another of those moments which I will stare straight at with closed eyes just before I am personally introduced to the mythical Yum Uncle whenever, wherever, however.
But I knew life can never be as beautiful as the eternal beauty of Munnar, coz I knew that she never felt for me the way i did about her, and still do.
This imbalance is the defining factor of our relationship, our best friendship, all the times spent together, all emotions spent for each other.
I could still hear Uncle Conscience speak sternly... "How Long?"
I see myself fall into a trance-like state, I had never felt this way before,
But, I let myself flow freely like a river, let destiny be the rocks who govern my path.
Every Body stays in a state of intertia until it is acted upon by an external unbalanced force,
I got myself into this intertia, and prayed to God to get me out of it.
I did not pray for what it is like today, nor did I pray for wat it was like then.
In fact I did not pray for a particular future, Coz I feared God listens.
What I prayed for was for an external force which got me out of inertia, I had to move on... I had to come back to life...
Then it happened, There came an External force in the form of Your moving on in life, My leaving Bangalore and The exponentially growing imbalance between us.
That was when I realised "How Long?". Those words did take the effort of climbing a thousand mountain peaks, But eventually they did come out.
Grey Haired Uncle Conscience smiled.
No more morning wake up calls, No waiting for her or making her wait, no traveling with her to office, Not conversing with her at breakfast, No arguing with her at lunch, no laughing with her at snack, no more Pondys, no more Keralas, Life changed.
"Soul is permanent. Being with someone in person could be materialistic, being with the soul lasts for life." is what once she had said while we were arguing, on an irrelevant topic.
I shrugged then, I follow it now.
It helped me in defeating the materialistic portion of the "Exponentially growing imbalance between us".
In retrospect, in analysis I so many times think. Why did it happen? Was it really necessary- for us to meet in life? for us to be good friends? for us to spend time and emotion with each other? for me to fall in love? For this imbalance between us to occur? and finally, to not be in material touch any more?
I only debate, I have no answer.
In life, giving a 100% to every experience is what matters, Because what comes out of each and every experience is the "me" of today and the "me" of today determines the experiences in store tomorrow.
I wish the best for her in life and am sure she does for me too.
As I wait in anticipation for the experiences of tomorrow, the next month, the next year, till death, I am bloody eager to know if she is gonna be a part of one of them. :-)
Till then I believe in her thunderous words "Soul is permanent".